Twinks Gets Fit...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Where's the duct tape?

Why is it that some people make it their job to share every scary labor and delivery story with pregnant women? It's like a challenge to find the story that will freak them out the most.

Yes, Idiot Coworker (AKA: Little Mary Sunshine) graced us with her presence again.

As soon as I realized it was her walking in our office, I grabbed the phone. Who did I call? Moviefone. Because it popped in my mind first and there was no reason to call an actual person to escape her assessment.

The first thing out of her mouth?

"When are you due again?"

I've told her no fewer than 3 dozen times. Do I expect the world to revolve around me and for everyone to remember my due date? Of course not, but I've lost my patience for this woman. Particularly when the question begins every conversation and is immediately followed by a criticism of my belly size.

Thankfully she saw I was on the phone, but still proceeded to tell good coworker about a friend of a friend of a friend who just had her baby. I heard bits and pieces while I struggled to tune her out and listen instead to the Moviefone ads. Something about a drop in blood pressure and an emergency c-section. Basically a story I didn't need to hear about, but she was almost giddy to tell.

When she left, good coworker just rolled her eyes and asked the same question I wonder about everytime this happens. Why try to terrify a pregnant woman close to delivery with stories of labors gone wrong? Why indeed. It's like telling a 5-year-old all about the Boogie Man right before bedtime and then cheerfully kissing them goodnight.

Fortunately, I'm calm and logical enough to know that every labor is different and so I don't freak out over scary labor and delivery stories. It's not like worrying is going to prevent anything anyways. I just shamelessly avoid interaction with this woman to keep myself from giving her a verbal lashing. She's not worth it and it honestly wouldn't do any good anyway.

Instead, she gets the side-eye once again and I shall continue with my day.

Until the next installment of "Grown ups say the darndest things"...

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