A refresher on my goals...
1-Kickstart my self esteem (lose 14 pounds). 8 lost to date, 6 to go.
2-Pre-pregnancy weight (lose 9 more pounds)
3-Wedding weight (lose 15 more pounds)
4-Psychological happy dance (lose 6 more pounds) Haven't weighed this since 2002
5-BMI number I like (lose 17 more pounds) Haven't weighed this since junior and senior years of high school
6-Psychological Touchdown, including celebratory dance and spiking of...well, I'll have to find something to spike (lose 12 more pounds) This would probably be my weight from 1997.
It's amazing how your perspective changes. I would do anything to weigh what I did back then when I felt huge. I wasn't. It was just compared to my shorter peers (I was always in the 95th percentile and higher for height) and due to a distorted self-image, I felt like a giant. Oh how I wish I could shake the 13-year-old version of myself by the shoulders and say "You are not fat. Stop being so self-conscious and enjoy this time in your life." I suppose this is a common feeling and it never goes away. I hear 60-something-year-old women muttering about their weight and they look like a swift breeze could snap them in two. I just want to feel confident. I don't want feeling self-conscious to always be in my mind, at least not related to my weight. Lord knows I can be awkward all on my own.
Krys (AKA: "Freckles") circa 1996 (left) and 1999ish (right)
My goal weight is right in between these two and oh. em. gee. I still have those sandals. Haven't worn them in decade, but I just can't part with them. Oh and the helmet? Yeeeah. Safety first, people. Safety first.
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