Grr.

I'll be honest. I didn't want to post today. I wanted to crawl under a rock and pretend it wasn't Monday.

But I didn't. Because I'm being accountable.

I gained.

I don't get it. I don't understand how I can be bad certain weeks and still lose and follow the program other weeks and gain.

I'll admit that as soon as I saw the scale tipping the wrong direction, I got discouraged. I felt really self-conscious. At this point, I would typically give up, but I know I can't this time. I simply need to get up, brush myself off, and get right back at it.

What I did well this week? I wrote things down.

What I didn't do so well? I ate when I wasn't completely hungry. I misjudged points values and didn't realize they had done me in until I had already eaten them.

I have lost inches, I will say that. An inch here, an inch there. That says something I suppose. I just want to see more of this. I want to be closer to my goal than the starting point. I just feel overwhelmed by the ultimate goal and feel like I'm at the base of a huge mountain.

I've seen how quick fixes don't work. A few women at work had gastric bypass and they've all gained a lot of it back. Someone else had drastic weight loss very quickly and she's on a slippery slope back to where she was. I don't want that to be me. I want to make this a lifestyle change that lasts for the long term, thus why I'm not doing anything that I won't be able to stick to.

ETA: Okay, so my "gain" amounts to 1.2 pounds as of this morning, but still. I was so happy to be in double digits. I shall be well into them hopefully by this time next week!

I'm hoping for a better week and a more upbeat post next week.