That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.
Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.
-"Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright
Dear Little,
So I’ve mentioned before that a good amount of the time we call you by a nickname. We can’t really help it, it just comes out. I do apologize that some of the nicknames aren’t terribly flattering. “Fuss-Fuss” has pretty much been phased out for the most part (thank you for making this possible), but has been replaced by things like “Fart Monster” (and for that, I apologize), “Tickle Monster”…see the trend? I should mention it’s usually accompanied by a funny voice and it really is a term of endearment.
I’m nearly 2 weeks late writing this and the only explanation I have is that you keep us busy! Ever since you started crawling, you’re not happy sitting in one place for too long. You are standing, pulling things out of cabinets and laundry baskets, clobbering the dogs, or darting across the room, generally getting into mischief, which you find hilarious. Actually anytime we try to tell you “no,” like when you pull my hair (actually, it’s more of an intent-to-rip-hair-from-Mommy’s-head-clamp-and-jolt), you’ll stare at us for a second and then break into a smile and sometimes a giggle. (Meanwhile Daddy’s suggestion that I shave my head is sounding less and less absurd.) Basically, when you’re awake, you’re on the move and we have to be on alert or else you’ll be finding bits of something or another to shove in your mouth (where do you find these things?), investigating cords that can never be babyproofed enough, or like yesterday, pulling 25 or so wipes out in record speed (which I get is fascinating and I admit, had me cracking up).
Basically, Kiddo, you are a daredevil and it terrifies us when it’s not amusing us. This is why for Christmas I’m trying to find things that will help serve as outlets for your adventurous ambitions. I doubt it’ll keep you from wanting to explore, but I can try to divert your attention. I will say that you appear to have more balance and coordination than your Momma. You can thank Daddy for that.
Speaking of Christmas, Daddy and I started talking last night about what to tell you about Santa. (If you’re reading this much sooner than I anticipate, Santa is real. Now jump ahead over the rest of this paragraph.) We both agree that we want to emphasize to you the real significance of this time of year and holiday: Pumpkin pie. Of course. Just kidding. Obviously the most important part of this time of year is the birth of Jesus and that he was born to ultimately sacrifice himself to save us and to pay the price of our sins. His birth was God’s gift to us and it brought hope to the world. The eventual sacrifice of His own life was then the ultimate gift. This is why giving is such a big part of this season. (There were also the gifts from the shepherds, but this is my thought on it.) We definitely want to teach you how important giving is (any time of year, not just around the holidays), whether it’s time, a toy for a child who has none, even a simple gesture. With all of the “holiday spirit” though, there’s a lot of magic in the air this time of year. Santa is a part of that magic and my thought (Again, if you’re under the age of say, 10, Santa is real. Now jump down to the next paragraph.) is that I don’t want to rob you of years of believing in that magic. Any magic really. Your childhood should be magical and for as long as possible. I fear the impact when you find out that he isn’t real, that you’ll lose something in that, but I hope that you find magic in other forms. Even as an adult, I hope you find magic in the world. It’s all with how you choose to see things. A quote from one of our favorite shows really struck me:
Beckett: Why is it so important to you that I believe all this stuff about fates, psychics, and Santa Claus?
Castle: Because, if you don't even believe in the possibility of magic, you will never ever find it.
I want so badly for you to find magic, find joy, find wonder in this world—as a child and as an adult. I want you to use your imagination and see possibilities, I want you to daydream, I want you to dream big and make those dreams a reality. I want you to love your life.
One of the infinite perks about being your Momma is that I get to see things through your eyes. It’s wonderful. Everything looks different, brighter and more vibrant. Oh and you don’t miss anything. You watch us and things around you with intensity, like you’re trying to take in every single detail to understand it. I think this is connected to how you explore and are always looking for something new.
Little, I just love you so very much, more than I’ll ever be able to express.
“I love you through and through--Yesterday, today, and tomorrow too.”
(And every day after that, too.)
Love,
Momma
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