I could blame the Pepsi we had leftover from Little's b-day party for my disappointing weigh-in, much like smokers blame cigarettes for giving them lung cancer, but I won't do that. I still lost weight this week, though it was less than I had hoped. I didn't finish the week strong. In fact, I fell off the wagon Saturday around 3:30 when I realized I had 3 bites of a hot dog all day and was starving. So I had a complete hot dog. Okay, I had two. Then a cupcake. Then the Pepsi bottle was just sitting there.
So, no, I don't blame the Pepsi. Or the cupcake. Or the hot dogs.
I blame me because I didn't have self-control. I was hungry to start, yes, but I felt full after one hot dog and should have left it at that. But no. I went for another because it was there. During the late afternoon, I also grabbed a few of those little smokies sausages we used for the pigs in blankets. Also because they were there. I am a food opportunist.
I am still convinced that my ultra-sensitive to water retention body didn't like the water strike I found myself on over the weekend and that the number on the scale will drop by the morning, but it's Monday, it's McFatty Monday, and if it does drop, I better stick with the plan this week and maintain that loss plus a couple more.
Anyway, I did lose a pound, but I found myself reacting like a Biggest Loser contestant who expected a bigger number. I felt flustered and frustrated. I moved the scale around, reset it, weighed myself again. Rinse and repeat. Same number. every. time.
What can I do except move on and go for a big week this week?
Tomorrow, I pack my walking shoes because tomorrow is the start of walking at lunch. Because it takes no additional time out of my day, the weather is beautiful, and I want to reach my stupid psychological milestone and beyond already.
My attitude could use some adjusting perhaps.
I do feel a lot more confident these days though. I still have the post-pregnancy (even 12 months later) deflated belly look, which results in a muffin top, but I don't feel as self-conscious about it. I'm not constantly picking at my clothes. I'm not sure if this is as a result of the weight loss or just growing into myself as a person overall. I know myself better these days. I'm losing the doubt I had in myself and my actions, but at the same time, I feel more honest about my weaknesses, about the areas I have to improve.
Motivation this week: Push through the wall I seem to be up against on the scale.